READY OR NOT (2019) FILM REVIEW

***

18, 94 Mins

Satirical slasher isn't as scary as it should be, but crackles with polemic wit.

If Hollywood depictions are anything to go by, the rich are a fairly weird bunch. In the eyes of David Lynch's 'Blue Velvet' (1986) and Sam Mendes's 'American Beauty' (1999), every member of the elite is either a murderer, a sex abuser or an adulterer. Even away from the sprinkled grass of leafy American suburbia, the 18th century upper class have been portrayed as Machiavellian, power-hungry and corrupt in 'The Favourite's fish-eyed insight into the lustful pursuits of duck-racing aristocrats behind majestic closed doors.

It's worth noting therefore that 'Ready or Not' (2019) isn't the first film to dismember the stiff, upper lip stereotypes that the rich seem to snoot around with. Directors Matt Bettinilli-Oplin and Tyler Gillet's film must be credited though for its polemic wit when approaching well-worn "evil rich people" territory.

It's an enjoyably macabre comedy horror that sees Samara Weaving (niece of Hugo) star as a newly-wedded bride invited to her husband's (Mark O'Brien) family's drooling gothic mansion. It's a bloodthirsty specimen replete with scorching fireplaces that heat up an oven of flame-grilled unsettlement throughout the film's lean and mean 94 min running time.

As per family tradition, the bride must take part in a gory game of hide and seek (hence the "ready or not" title) where she must rely on her considerable gumption to outwit an unhinged wealthy bunch before the dawn is due...

Given the film's central cat and mouse antics, it's arguably unsurprising that its shock factor should revolve around bogeyman-in a-closet jump scares. This is not a film keen on subtlety, prefering instead to impale one's hands on the spikes of a house gate than to gently massage the tension into your spine. For this reason, its never quite as scary as you might hope for.

Ironically, though, the film's reliance on "show and tell" storytelling is its secret weapon. As well as a scabby slice-up of the rich's dark secrets, I read 'Ready or Not' as a satire on the state of modern horror's commercialized, crowdpleasing conventions. It's a movie which finds humour where most cookie cutter genre fare would squeeze scares. It suggests that we should chuckle instead of scream when these films serve up slash.

'Ready or Not' is bolstered by a star-making turn from Samara Weaving who looks so much like Margot Robbie that they could be twins. With her delicate high cheek bones and lacy attire, she seemingly embodies the walking manifestation of the pretty damsel in distress that horror film-maker's love to torment and terrorize. And yet she manages to imprint an empowering dollop of #MeToo badassery to proceedings; subverting stereotypes with shotgun panache strapped to her shoulders.

​With such a high body count, I almost felt guilty for finding it all as entertaining as I did...almost.
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