The prospect of a third round of handbag-hearted, heel-headed torture makes me shudder to the bone…
PINK = PRODUCT PLACEMENT
Perhaps the point at which I first lost the will to live during the monstrous ‘Sex and the City’ films (2008-2010) came about half an hour into the first cinematic instalment.
It involved a scene featuring these shallow, superficial, sycophantic drag queens sipping champagne to Aerosmith’s ‘Walk This Way’ and revelling in the crass comforts of Carrie Bradshaw’s filthy rich wardrobe. This widely described “womanly dream” is of course – in the world of ‘SATC’s carouse – a bedroom-based debauchery of jewellery, high heels and LOUIS VUITTON handbags!
During this sequence in which the “girls” tried on and catwalked their most beloved materials, I quickly realised I was watching less a movie than a slab of misogynistic,
$ multi-million merchandise propaganda. A film every bit as fake and fashion-addicted as it’s disgracefully stereotyped central heroines.
However such mean-spirited materialism might have been minutely more bearable if Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda had the decency to keep their cynical vacuousness to themselves!
Shamefully, Charlotte’s adopted Vietnamese toddler daughter Lily was swiftly swept up in this crass cacophony of Consumerist horrors (contemptible cliché of stinkingly wealthy “white saviour” stealing and brainwashing dark-skinned child from supposedly “third world” country!).
Beyond “accidental racism”, Director Michael Patrick King insists the little girl – dressed only in nappies – be further draped in corpulent excesses of gold, platinum and silver trinkets. A good way to poison the minds and souls of our female youngsters into believing money, men and materials are what makes a lady a lady!
What has this world come to?!! Worse still, this is only the beginning…
It’s no surprise really that I despise ‘Sex and the City’. Thankfully I am not alone in this view; though every male ‘SATC’ sceptic will have received at least one aggressive tirade from a member of the series’ mostly middle-aged and middle class feminine fanbase. Highly likely and wrongly to be called - in one way or another - a “sexist pig” for reasons that follow…
3 REASONS WHY "YOU DON'T GET SEX AND THE CITY!":
3. "You haven't seen the TV Show!"
To which I answer no. I have not witnessed the long-running 1998-2004 HBO saga from which these vile productions were based. Does that mean therefore that I have no previous connections with these characters? Absolutely! And frankly I would rather beat my head into a brick outerhouse than spend even 2 seconds with these horrendous excuses for human beings! Not kidding! Honestly!
2. "You hate chick flicks!"
Not true in the slightest. While I may not exactly be the demographic for so-called “chick flicks” (calling them such sounds sexist in itself!), I bear no ill will against a witty, well-made female-orientated feature. In fact, I have a soft spot for films such as ‘Easy A’ (2010), ‘Clueless’ (1995) and ‘Mean Girls’ (2004). They represented femininity as smart, sassy and sweet. Not "shallow, superficial and sycophantic"!
1. "You're a guy!"
WOW! You're clever, aren't you?!!
YES! I AM A GUY! Therefore, obviously I have no idea that 'Sex and the City' is simply a glittery realisation of every gal's wildest "female fantasy", right?!!
No doubt this so-called "fantasy" may be desired by a select few hen night-obsessive housewives craving cringe-worthy escapism from their "oh so poverty-stricken" lifestyle (ironically one laced with marble tiles, silk curtains and Egyptian cotton beds reeking of sickening imperialism!).
Does that mean therefore that no woman in this world craves a creative existence that isn't defined by dicks, handbags and hoards of GUCCI footwear?!! CATEGORICALLY NO! NO! NO! NO!
All the more thrilling to see radically feminist and - let's be crystal clear - FEMALE writers ripping the serie's self-inflated bimbos to shreds for being putrid caricatures of womanhood!
Meet Roshan Chandy
Freelance film critic, journalist and writer based in Nottingham, UK. Specialises in cinema.
Roshan's Top 5 Films of the Week
1. A Quiet Place: Part II (in cinemas)
2. Cruella (in cinemas)
3. After Love (in cinemas)
4. Dream Horse (in cinemas)
5. Frankie (in cinemas)
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